14th May 2025
RIP Steve Willis
Remembering Steve Willis who has died aged 64.
The below is from Steve’s siblings:
Our brother Stephen ‘Tank’ Willis left us bereft on 11/05/25, following a valiant battle against cancer. He is at peace now.
Many, far and wide will miss his formidable character and leadership and willingness to debate a point, but we will keep his story and spirit alive in our hearts and reminiscences.
RIP Stephen, from your loving brother, Greg and our sisters; Claire, Denise and Meriel.
A personal memory from Matt Eastley
Over Easter, I went to visit Steve Willis in King’s College Hospital, Camberwell/Denmark Hill.
Steve, who had been fighting cancer, had recently suffered a stroke and had become virtually bedbound.
Little did I know that when I said goodbye to him, it would be the last time I ever saw him and when his wife Anita relayed the news, the timing came as a real shock.
Steve, who was five years above me at St Mary’s, had become a good friend of mine.
He contacted me when he heard I was writing a history of the school and he became an enthusiastic contributor to the project.
Steve was on the organising committee for the book launch in October 2022, responsible for the visual elements of the event.
He put in many, many hours enlarging and photocopying hundreds, even thousands, of old St Mary’s pictures, printing them off and then affixing them to display boards. He made an invaluable contribution to a successful day.
Steve was born in April 1961 and attended Our Lady of the Rosary Primary School in Blackfen before arriving at St Mary’s in September 1972.
He was a member of sixth Sidcup Scout group, which contained many other St Mary’s boys.
At St Mary’s, Steve excelled at English and appreciated the teaching of Dermot McMahon.
He was known for his fierce intellect, questioning nature and strongly held views. These qualities would take him to Oxford University, and he was the last name to be on the St. Mary’s GS, Oxbridge Honours Board before the amalgamation.
Steve also played for the school’s first fifteen rugby team and was infamously known as ‘Tank’. His big physique and impressive mobility, at that time, came in handy when ploughing through opposing packs.
Home responsibilities before his time, further shaped his no-nonsense character and made him a positive role model to his four siblings and those who knew him, far and wide.
It would have been around 2019 when Steve first contacted me. At that point we had never exchanged a word. He’d heard about the book I was writing and, as a writer and keen historian himself, it was a project that greatly appealed to him. Immediately we got on like the proverbial house on fire.
He would ring me often comically perpetuating the hierarchy that exists at school where older boys look down on younger ones:
“Eastley, you junior tick,” he’d say. “Have you done those lines for me yet?”
I first met him in person in Hastings, a town dear to his heart where one of his sisters lived. It was great to meet this big man in person.
The age difference between us became something of a running joke. It was never in question who was the boss in our friendship – and it certainly wasn’t me.
Steve was sharp, incisive and witty. He was also extremely gregarious and loved striking up conversations with strangers. He could, and would, talk to anyone.
Steve’s mobility was sometimes an issue but that did not get in the way of his love of travel.
He held two cities close to his heart – London and Edinburgh and flitted between both as often as he could. He also loved Morocco and enjoyed several visits there.
When I was assembling a committee of people to help me launch ‘We Did Our Homework On The Bus’ I wanted Steve to be on it.
Steve could be stubborn and, if he believed strongly in something, he dug his heels in and could not be easily moved.
You had to be on your toes with Steve – because if you said something he disapproved of, he would let you know. To say he didn’t suffer fools gladly, is an understatement. What you saw with Steve, was what you got.
Sometimes he could be irascible but I was never in doubt that beneath the bluster Steve was an intrinsically good man with a kind heart and strong principles.
Underneath he was a soft, considerate man who always championed the underdog or the disenfranchised.
Occasionally his gentleness and sentimentality would emerge. The first time he saw the slide presentation concerning the history of St Mary’s he was reduced to tears of nostalgia.
Before I left King’s College Hospital, I told him that I felt privileged to have met him and how much our friendship – albeit one which came much later in life – meant to me.
Steve was a one-off and I will miss him a lot.
RIP Steve.
Steve is back row, third from right.
Condolences to all the family.
Remember Steve, as good friend to my brother Ralph ‘Lemon’’ Clayton. Often a visitor at our house. A sad loss RIP
Yes Steve thought a lot of Ralph Caroline. He often told me about Lemon’s music knowledge.
Steve and I didn’t meet at St Mary’s because we were in different age groups. I only got to know him later when we worked together on the book launch committee.
My main role was setting up regular Zoom meetings to plan the event. Steve always joined early, eager to chat and get to know me. I was struck by his warmth and how he toggled between London and Edinburgh to manage different parts of his psyche.
He was a lovely man with a great turn of phrase.
And he thought very highly of you too Bert. He saw you as a man of great principle, which Steve was himself.
I am very saddened to hear of Steve’s untimely passing. His brother Greg and I were in the same year at school, and I frequently visited them at the family home on Faraday Avenue. I particularly recall being with the family on one occasion when Steve returned home from Oxford. He was such a big character in so many ways. Even as a youngster at primary school, I remember being so impressed with his confidence, strong opinions, collection of LPs and his general zest for life. It was from Steve that I first heard about Bob Dylan!
I remember my parents telling me about Oxford University and what it meant to win a place to read law at such a prestigious institution. If I recall, Steve wore this huge achievement very lightly. But more than anything else, to this day I remember being so impressed that Steve’s principles drove him to become a housing officer after earning his law degree, because he wanted to help ensure that everyone could live in a decent home – I have never forgotten it. RIP Steve. You and your family are very much in my thoughts and prayers.
Very well said Damien. You’ve captured the essence of Steve’s personality excellently.
On the occasion of the 100th centenary I spent an enjoyable half hour over a pint with Steve as we talked and argued about the 1st XV of 1979 in which we played. He was big and quick and only thought David Spalding in the team was as quick as him I recall. We were blessed to have such a physically and mentally big character in our lives. RIP Steve
Well said Michael.
My brother Chris and I were both in 6th Sidcup Scouts with Steve and many other Saint Mary’s boys. Here, Steve was physically and mentally solid and had already earned the nick name “Tank”. It may even have been Paul Robinson, (the son of the scout leader), who first coined the phrase on the St Mary’s rugby field. In any case, by 1974 the nick name had already taken root, apparently for life!
Both Chris and I left the UK as a teenagers and enlisted into the US Navy where we both served a career together. Neither of us ever saw Steve again!
Despite this, over the years, we were appraised of his trajectory by our sister Clare-Helen who is a life long friend of his sister Meriel. Our mother was also close with Steve mum and I remember one night calling home from California to hear news of her death. What horrified me, perhaps more than the news itself, was the realization that from that moment on the weight of supporting the family now rested on Steve. Selfishly I thought of what I would need to do if my parents were removed from the picture. Like Steve, I had a shcool aged brother and sister at home who would both need shephearding into adulthood. If not by me then by whom? This was the daunting challenge facing Steve and it was at this time that Steve came into his own. This obligation whould have been crushing to most.
I did not know the man that Steve became. However they do say that “the boy is father to the man”. One thing though is clear, for whaterver else Steve became, he proved himself to be “not someone to let you down”. I can think of no better epitaph. Strength and Honor! Rich and Chris Cobb
Thanks Rich and Chris for an interesting perspective on Steve – you are absolutely right in what you say. I greatly admired the strength Steve showed when those domestic responsibilities were thrust on his shoulders at such a young age.